The Loss

So what is it like exactly.. to lose someone always there for you to hug.. to cuddle nxt to wishing for ur demons to vanish...

All my life i have heard people loosing dear ones in calamities, in blasts, in accidents,to sickness.So you read and hear about it , feel a moment of sorrow and your sympathies go out to those people who left and more so to their families now crippled with the loss.But then you come out of that moment and go on to read about a moviestar gossip.

I never really connected to the feelings cos i didnt know how deep they could be.And then i came to know just what it is exactly supposed to feel like... when v lost her...n only after v lost her..

The pain of losing someone close... anchors itself deep in the heart like spread out roots of an uprooted tree...
you dont know where exactly is the spot the ache starts or where it ends...

It gets stuck in your throat for ever...
like an ear splitting scream that just doesnt manage to escape,doesnt set you free...try what you may...
and over time you just learn to breathe...
Breathe through the barriers caused by muffled screams... and yet ...
you cant adapt to it... never can... its an effort increasing each time u breath...

And down rolls the efforts ...

as distilled saline waters on ur pillowcase..

deep into the night ...when u are left all to yourself...an empty shell..against the tides.

To lose her is like losing a part of your soul.... the most beautiful part which you may never be able to bare nor share with anyone with the magnitude of muffled pain in it and an equal amount of Joy and Gratitude.Amen ..for making me capable of feeling what i feel...with or with you.

shilpzz's photostream

shilpzz's photostream on Flickr.

In the Falls..

In the Falls..

I drag as I walk

I fall as I stumble

I wait for a hand

find none... and i grumble

I lie in the mud
all caked in my grate
I plead to my Maker
Find him grinning on my state

I soak... in my pain
all consumed in my reasons
i gather my pieces again
Should rise to face d seasons

I dust off the grime
hoping to forget my downward tumble
I look Him in the eye as he dares
No ....now i wont again fumble..

I wont again fumble.!!

Just another morning.. Ordinary?

As the orange hues start dressing up
slyly beyond the hilly silhouettes
he lithely draws behind the purple blinds
throwing an invite to the waiting morning

Gold rushes inside to cover her nubile face
flushing it with a lovely angelic glow
sleeping peacefully embraced such
Gift wrapped in sheets..a porceline doll

Pristine precious and delicately magical
with a soulful shy smile embedded in her face
the only visible sign of her far breathing  mind
immersed in the realm of fanciful haze

The soft shadows of her dark lashes
holding in mysterious desires of her heart

He sits besides watching.. lump in his throat

choking with the beauty of this formidable art

Reaches out wanting to be a part of her thoughts
yet freezing midway scared of any damage

He grapples with the mad tides in his mind

struggling in vane inside their cage..

He stops.. inhales..waiting for the wave to dip

gingerly he reaches and smoothly lifts

the scattered luxury of her silken hair

freeing the wild strands clinging to her luscious lips

As he precariously releases them free

their grip reluctant in the wetness of her nape

opening up an exotic mixture of sweet scents

dizziness sets in as they melt from their escape

Pulling open the plugs of cravings

Oozying from each pore of his being..

Gingerly he runs his forefinger

along the peachy curve of her cheeks

velvet tugging at the sleeve of his urges

her sweetness flirting innocently

but with the warmth of his loving senses

and the guardian in him calling unexpectedly

he draws up the gathered sheets
coating her up as he plants a kiss
sealing it with painful awe
as he caresses her sleeping bliss


how did I get so lucky
he feels the lightness as his heart rejoices again
how did I get so lucky
for every morning to be witnessing such endearing pain…

it makes me want to live forever.. he says
waking up besides my pretty angel always
it makes me want another day ...
Just another morning

Just Another morning... to breathe this way….

Reminencing A night trek

A cheerful trail under moonlit skies

Marching ants on wet mud slides

Woods echoing muffling our sounds

an occasional unknown shadow glides..

Treading persistent drenched to toes

with fireflies lighting ink black roads
infested with longing for the unseen summit
Coaxing to climb on ..our thirsty souls :)


Masked in mud & mental satisfaction
we stepped inside the humble abode
beckoning the tired tempted folks
embracing us inside to its unpretentious board..

Stripping down into our innocent smiles

delightfully exhausted from the grind

soaking happily in the sense of coming Home

Heaven is here where our longings bind…


As manure smeared spaces held our roots
we felt our souls lighten and our spirits heal
& in the warming casts of kerosene lamps
we fused together over a loving meal..


Then as most tired heads laid down on earths lap
we tiptoed down out into d dark to the awaiting pond
huddles together silently watching  starry skies
feeling alive hearing the nature around..


And heres the most rewarding moment of it all
when we witnessed a tree dressed in scores of lights
like an awe filled bunch of grown up kids we froze
mersmerised oggling at what were ....hundreds of fireflies...



A little  spontaneous account of the night trek i went to .. at Rajmachi in the onset of rains with Nisarga Brahman trek circle.The delight of watching the scores of fireflies lighting the pitch darkness during their mating time was mersmerising and uniquely pretty.. etched in my memory like a photograph.. forever.The images used here are ones clicked by Janardhan Iyer during the trek .

Paraka.. Stranger

परका ..


थकलेल्या पावलांनी काल घरी जात असता

तू हळुज थेंबा थेंबात साद घालत आलास

दर वेळी तू असाच अल्गद येतोस

पण ह्या वेळी जरा वेगळाच वाटलास

कोऱ्या रिकाम्या नजरेने तुला पाहत असता
तू नकळत माझ्यावर आपुलकीने  शिंपडलास
दर वेळी मी तुला कौतुकानी ओंजळीत साठवते
पण ह्या वेळी काय सांगू तू जरा परकाच वाटलास


क्षीणलेल्या श्वासाचा सुस्कारा सोडीत असता
तू मला चिंब ओला बिलगुनी राहिलास
दर वेळी ह्याचीच तर मी वात पाहत असते
पण ह्या वेळी तरी..का जणू अलिप्तच भासलास


खरं सांगते ह्या वेळी पावसा...
तू कुणाच ठाऊक का....
पण मला वेगळाच वाटलास....


A small rendition of my affair with the falling rains when the heart is already soaked in some listless feeling of love.

Sampli Ghai.... End of the Hurrying

किती सगळं शांत आहे
कुठे गेली सगळी घाई...
ऑफिस मधून घरी यायची
आता हळहळ मूळी उरली नाही...




जड झालंय पुढे पाहणं
कुठेय चाललोय कळत नाही...
पावलांना ह्या पुढे पाऊल
टाकायचे भान उरले नाही...




किती सगळं शांत आहे
कुठे गेली सगळी घाई...
भेडसावणारे वादळी विचार
आणि अश्रूंचाही पूर उरला नाही...




भटकत होतो आम्ही सगळे
तुझ्या हास्याचीच होती नवलाई...
जरी कधी वैतागलो सगळ्याला
तुझ्या मिठीत घ्यायचो तजेली अंगडाई...




किती सगळं शांत आहे
कुठेय गेली सगळी घाई...
स्वप्न आपली सगळी अडकून पडली
रोखून राहिलो आहोत आम्ही श्वास काही...




जीवनाच्या ह्या चक्राचा
बिंदूच जणू सापडत नाही...
आणि स्तब्ध अश्या ह्या अवस्थेत
तूझ्हीच आस लागून राहिली आहे आई..




किती सगळं शांत आहे
कुठे गेली सगळी घाई ......


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