The Loss

So what is it like exactly.. to lose someone always there for you to hug.. to cuddle nxt to wishing for ur demons to vanish...

All my life i have heard people loosing dear ones in calamities, in blasts, in accidents,to sickness.So you read and hear about it , feel a moment of sorrow and your sympathies go out to those people who left and more so to their families now crippled with the loss.But then you come out of that moment and go on to read about a moviestar gossip.

I never really connected to the feelings cos i didnt know how deep they could be.And then i came to know just what it is exactly supposed to feel like... when v lost her...n only after v lost her..

The pain of losing someone close... anchors itself deep in the heart like spread out roots of an uprooted tree...
you dont know where exactly is the spot the ache starts or where it ends...

It gets stuck in your throat for ever...
like an ear splitting scream that just doesnt manage to escape,doesnt set you free...try what you may...
and over time you just learn to breathe...
Breathe through the barriers caused by muffled screams... and yet ...
you cant adapt to it... never can... its an effort increasing each time u breath...

And down rolls the efforts ...

as distilled saline waters on ur pillowcase..

deep into the night ...when u are left all to yourself...an empty shell..against the tides.

To lose her is like losing a part of your soul.... the most beautiful part which you may never be able to bare nor share with anyone with the magnitude of muffled pain in it and an equal amount of Joy and Gratitude.Amen ..for making me capable of feeling what i feel...with or with you.